My Little Universe

Large And Not In Charge

My roommate had some pretty hilarious one liners that she would pull out every so often, which I always found odd because she’s so quiet and shy when she’s around people. One of my favourite things she said to me was that she was large and in charge. Now, she wasn’t talking about her weight size as she is relatively slim, but she was discussing her height. Because, like me, she is a tall girl. However, unlike me, she loves her height; I see it as a curse.

Growing up I was always that tall awkward girl in elementary school. I was taller than all the boys (and therefore treated as one), hit puberty far too early, and was incredibly shy. I guess in my mind if I was quiet people would over look me and I wouldn’t stand out as much with my gigantor height. Yes, people have called me Jazzilla before. Not cool.

Now picture this, here I am age 10, already wearing a full fledged bra and practically 5’5, that’s right guys 5’5 at 10. I call these my alien stages, because I was so skinny and everything on me was long. Freakish long legs, sickly looking long arms, and creepy big feet. My mother told me not to worry, because inevitably everyone else would grow and one day I would appreciate the massive chest size I was developing, and that this whole experience was all apart of growing up. If only that were the case mother.

Everyone else did grow, however so did I, and while they all stopped at a happy 5’3 or 5’5 off I went to rediscover new heights at 5’8. Now here’s the kicker, my older, prettier and skinner sister of 4 years sits at 5’2 and is a size 0…how is that even fair? I swear people like her should be illegal.

Now I had a wonderful new can of worms to go and experience, rejection on accounts of being too tall. Such fun. And because I enjoy to further punish myself, I like to wear heels to accentuate my height, thus putting me at a good 6 foot and scaring away the men who approach me. What can I say, I’m a sucker for pain.

When I go out with me friends, rest assure Jazzilla will protect them from any of the “big scary men” that approach. There have been those moments when a beautiful man over 6 foot walks my way at the bar. It’s as though a light is shinning on him as he parts the seas like Moses to talk to me! Someone his height and therefore his equal! As I prepare myself for our magical chat where he will inevitably fall in love with me and we’ll drive off into the sunset he walks past me to talk to my friend standing at a comfortable 5’4. Ahh…I should have seen that coming. So I go back to my wine and continue to nurse my healthy drinking problem that I’ve developed.

Sigh. Unfortunately it looks like I’m just not large and in charge after all.


3 thoughts on “Large And Not In Charge

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