My Little Universe

Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride

It seems like everywhere I look there are couples around me, and what’s worse, is now they’re getting married (shiver). So it looks like I’m at that age where people are looking for a “serious relationship” and here I am, single and totally 100 percent not mingling. Like with anyone.

My friend is getting married and I’m in the bridal party, which I was all about until her brother Peter pointed out how lonely and pathetic a bridesmaids life is, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I will inevitably be the only (still) single girl in the wedding party. Great, thanks for that dark cloud of torment Peter.

I think my unhealthy single life is starting to frighten people, just the other day my grandmother casually asked if I was a lesbian. I had to calmly explain to her that I like men, they just don’t like me. I think I’m like that weird smell that creeps people out on the bus so they avoid it at all costs. I guess you could say that I’m picky and guarded, but what can I say, I don’t want to just go out with whatever comes around. I’m not that desperate. At least not yet, maybe give me like 3 years, then we’ll see.

I hate when people tell me to give up trying because once I do that, my future husband will come a knocking. What a lovely idea, I’ll just lay in bed, waste away, and give up. Calling all sexy boys, come at me bro! Another personal favourite of mine is when my friends tell me some fairytale story about how they bumped into the same guy a million times and they just knew that they were meant to be. Like the universe was bringing them together. So my future husband will walk past me in the hall as I casually drop my pencil, he’ll run after me to give it back, we’ll stare lovingly into each others eyes and then run off into the sunset together and live happily ever after. Fat chance.

What’s worse about this entire situation is that Christmas is coming up, therefore my family will constantly question me about my bumping social life. Exhibit A:

When your Aunt asks if you’re dating anyone:

When your cousin talks about his booming relationship:

When your dad says you don’t need a man, that you can live with him forever:

When you uncle asks how you spend your days since you’re still single:

And when you finally get to leave Christmas dinner and all the annoying questions:


5 thoughts on “Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride

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