My Little Universe

Why Texting May Be The Death of Me

Although I believe that I’m an insanely hilarious in person, I’m not sure if my mad skills translate when I’m texting. For some reason, I just can’t come up with witty remarks that make people beg for more. My roommate has this ability, thus forcing me to burst out laughing in public, talk about embarrassing. She gets me on the subway, in the theatre, and at work. It’s literally everywhere.

I have this theory that my inability to entertain people while texting is one of the many reasons my relationships never seem last, especially when attempting to do that whole long distance thing. Or maybe it’s that texting in general is killing relationships all on it’s own?

Here’s the thing, I sometimes forget to text people back because I’m super popular and lead a very busy life…okay okay, truth is I will most likely forget. If I happen to be busy and get a text message I try to remind myself to respond later, but the moment that phone’s down I’ll completely forget. Please don’t bite my head off for being a space head.

Sometimes I’ll read the text and take forever trying to come up with a witty response. Hours later I’ll come up with something I think is golden, will send it, and anxiously await their response. No doubt it will be millions of “hahahahaha” or something along the lines of “you’re so funny, let’s get married!”. And so I wait, and wait, and wait. The obvious answer is that homeboy got so overwhelmed that I texted him that he fainted.

Now, there’s the other side to this story, maybe it’s not me that’s the issue, maybe it’s just texting in general. Here’s the issue I have with texting, once you’ve lured someone into chatting (via text) your entire relationship is defined by your texting voice. All of a sudden “what are you up to” has turned into “let’s hang out”, “I need to know you’re every move”, or “hi I’m a crazy chic that just wants to stalk your life”.

Texting is the devil guys, a straight up life ruiner. How many times have you heard a story about finding suspicious texts on your girlfriends phone? Or feeling like your boyfriends texting this one girl a little too often? Enter the paranoia.

So what does this mean? Because either I’m a horrible texter (likely) or that texting is evil incarnate because it misrepresents and lies to everyone? Which, in hindsight, I think I’m okay with, I mean is it so bad that I just want to trick people into thinking I’m a hilarious supermodel with outgoing remarks? I don’t think so.


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