My Little Universe

Dating 101: Is It Okay To Fall?

For those of you that don’t know, my friends had been trying to get me to test out this whole online dating thing out for awhile now. And while I had my own personal feelings on being online (click here to read more about that) it turns out that it may have worked!…Kinda.

I was convinced that online dating just wasn’t for me. All the guys I was meeting were only interested in one thing and one thing only! I may not date a lot or get any male attention of any kind (like at all), but I told myself that I was better than that. I wouldn’t just run around with whoever just because they gave me attention once in awhile for a “quickie”.

No one deserves that. We should all feel like we’re important, and not just in the physical sense. So I told myself “That was it! I was going to delete my profile that very day”. And then he messaged me.

dating-101-is-it-okay-to-fallIt took him awhile, at first I thought we were trapped in a game of tag, but he did and the conversation was good. He seemed nice enough, so I told myself “Okay, this will be the last one”. We began texting, and the more I talked to him, the more I began to like him, which scared me. I’m not a very open person, and have a serious fear of getting hurt, so the fact that I liked him wasn’t good in my books.

When we finally met in person we clicked! I found out that after he messaged me online he deleted his profile (I totally went to check and he actually did! Swoon).

Ever since our first official date he’s been slowly breaking down my barriers (which still terrifies me) but I’m afraid to completely fall, and here’s why: His best friend is a girl. A flirty, slightly needy for male attention, gorgeous girl.

Not. Even. Joking.

Now, I’m surprisingly not a very jealous person. I honestly don’t care when someone I like has girl friends, just as long as I’m clearly and most obviously the most important girl to him. I need everyone around to know that we’re together without us being attached at the hip you know?

Case and point: The other night I was introduced to all of his friends at this party (gorgeous, needy, flirty bff included), he was good about separating his time between introducing me around and chatting with his friends. He gave me my space and I gave him his. But he did eventually wander off and spend most of his time talking with her. At first, I had no problem with this, because I can hold my own in social settings and chat with other people no problem, plus she’s his best friend, so it really wasn’t an issue.

dating-101-is-it-okay-to-fall

What worried me was when this other guy started hitting on me. He had no clue that I was with someone else until one of the other guys told him. He apologized to both of us, stating that he thought super flirty, needy, gorgeous girl was with his date and not me, therefore I was single and could be hit on.

That bothered me.

When strangers think he’s with her, there’s a problem. I think he caught onto that because he spent the rest of the night around me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that he can’t have girl friends or that he has to follow me around 24/7. I just want it to be slightly obvious to people that we’re together. I want to stand out from his gorgeous, needy, flirty best friend.

dating-101-is-it-okay-to-fallThis is why I’m worried to fall. This guy has the power to hurt me, and I have a feeling I know just how he’d do it (did I mention the gorgeous, needy, flirty best friend?). I don’t want to have a competition between me and his best friend for two reasons: 1 I don’t think I should ever have the power to tell him who he can and can’t hang out with, and 2 I honestly don’t know if I’d win.

She’s super cool, almost a little too cool. Ridiculously pretty, almost too pretty. I can see that they’re insanely close, but he picked me, so I have nothing to worry about. Nothing… right?

Am I reading too much into this or is this a serious red flag? HELP!!!

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2 thoughts on “Dating 101: Is It Okay To Fall?

  1. I completely get your fear of falling here. I briefly dated a guy with a gorgeous best friend as well. It was definitely an adjustment to get used to. We did not break up for anything having to do with her.

    I think the guys actions speak the loudest. If you feel he is continuing to treat you well and take interest in you then I wouldn’t worry too much.

    Liked by 1 person

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