My Little Universe

No New Friends

It’s come to my attention that people suck. Seriously, all they care about is themselves, and I’m kind of sick of it.

Sometimes I feel like all I do is put myself out there for certain friendships and get nothing back in return. It sucks, it hurts, and I’ve decide to pull a Frozen and Let It Goooooo!

But seriously, I’ve always been the type of person that wanted to have a squad. And I’m not talking about what Swifty has with her clique of friends that are too cool for school, I’m talking about having a group of friends that I could depend on through thick and thin; my girls. I used to do everything I could to find it, and for awhile there I thought I did. While I have some amazing lifelong friends, a perfect sister, and a best friend that I can depend on for anything, I wanted to a crew of people that all knew each other and understood each other. Well, I call bullshit, because nothing’s ever what it seems.

I now realize that I need to focus on good dependable people in my life rather than putting my time and energy into people that will never appreciate it. I’m worth more than that. Everyone is.

My best friend and I are the type of people that will go out of our way to play the “friend card”. We use that term when we  do things for our friends that we may not necessarily want to do, but we will because we care about them and want to make them happy.

I’ve begun to notice that I don’t get that in return from certain people. People are selfish, and will only get in touch with you when they want something. They’ll only help you if  they get something in return. And they’ll lie and scheme about it behind your back. Or what’s worse, they won’t even have a second thought about doing it.

I’ve reached an age where I no longer care about being “popular”. I don’t care about the next party and I don’t befriend people based on who they know and how they’ll help me get what I want in the end. I’m too old for all that. It’s about quality and not quantity.

I didn’t realize how much people could change right before my eyes. And it’s sad. I have to say I’m really hurt, because I’m beginning to loose faith in people. I ultimately think everyone’s going to let me down, and it’s scary to exist in this world with such a lonely and negative outlook. I just want genuine friends that I can talk to and depend on. I need to know that I can call on a person and know that they’ll be there for me. It’s sad when you ultimately realize that the people you surround yourself with aren’t who you thought they were.

And at the end of the day, I think all I really need is my sister, and those select few I can depend on. No more new friends! That’s really all that matters right? I just sucks that it took me so long to realize it.

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