I think I’m at that stage in my life where I need some serious stability.
For those of you that don’t know, my life is pretty hectic. In the past 2 years I have hustled at so many different places just to get my name out there, build my resume, and keep myself relevant. Unfortunately for me, in my profession, this is just something that I have to do. There’s no such thing a 9-5 in the fashion/editorial world.
Now that I’m in a new phase in my life that I like to call “adulting” I’ve realized that the adventure of waking up everyday and not knowing what to expect has sightly worn off. I’d like to wake up and know exactly where I’m going, what I’m doing, and how I’m doing it. I just want some stability.
I’ve got bills to pay now. And I’m not talking little things like my cell phone bill, no my friends, I’m talking mortgages and property taxes. This is no joke. I can’t be fooling around anymore, I need that whole 9-5 life if I’m going to make it through the week without giving myself heart palpitations. We’re in the big leagues now; this is big girl stuff.
It’s kind of sad to think that all I want is a normal job. I was re-watching one of my all time favourite films, The Breakfast Club, and one of the lines really hit home with me. It’s when Allison tells the kids that “when you grow up, your heart dies”, almost as though you loose your imagination and your search for something more. Do you think that’s true? That we just fall into this trap of working for the sake of working and that’s it? Have I lost my love for adventure?
I really hope that’s not the case. At 25 years of age, I’m really not that old, yet my life has changed drastically from my 21 year old self. Back then, I was young, wild and free! I honestly didn’t have a care in the world.
But maybe that’s it, it’s not that our heart dies, it’s just that we have responsibilities now that we didn’t have before. At least, I know I didn’t.
Maybe the trick isn’t just to find stability. Maybe the key is to find stability in something that I love, and not just something I’m doing for the sake of doing it.
Here’s hoping. What do you guys think?