Unfortunately, dating as a millennial is hard work, and will probably be the worst thing you’ll ever have to do.
It’s almost impossible to meet people in real life, now we have to be on every single type of online dating apps just to meet a bunch of idiot, sex driven assholes. And we unfortunately just make it too easy for guys. All women do is blame themselves when it’s clearly mind games that men play on us. If you sleep with him too soon then you’re a slut and should just expect that he’ll leave you. And if you don’t sleep with men, then you should still expect that he’ll leave you because apparently that’s all men care about these days. You don’t wanna get “bro-zoned” as being the cool girl that he doesn’t have any feelings for, but you don’t want to be that crazy overbearing chick. You have to trust him, but at the same time let him have his wandering ways because he’ll “always come back to you in the end”…Good. Lord. So confusing, no wonder women all go a bit mad. Men drive us insane.
I read this article just by chance on Facebook that reminded those of us who unlucky enough to have to deal with this shit, that while ghosting has become a normal thing for us, now we have to deal with being benched.
For those of you that don’t know what ghosting is (you’re one of the lucky ones), being ghosted is when someone will straight up disappear from your life without any explanation. Homeboy just peaces out without a trace.
It’s sad that we’ve come to accept this as a daily part of our dating life, but c’est la vie. Now we’ve gotta deal with being benched. This is just another way of saying that he’s leading you on until he finds someone “better”. This is when a guy will give you the slightest amount of attention by liking all your social media posts, sending a text every so often (but only after midnight of course), he’ll invite you out for drinks last minute, if you ever have plans he’ll cancel all the time because he’s “working”, he’s not ready for a relationship yet because he’s so confused in life, but don’t worry, he really cares about you. You’ll get compliments every so often on how pretty you look today, because he needs to constantly remind you that he’s attracted to you…but that’s about as far as he’s willing to take it.
Ladies, if this is you, it’s time to cut ties. I know it’s hard, and I know that if you stop talking to him, that’ll mean the end of things for good. But trust me, that’s what you want. If you’re relationship only works because you’re putting in effort, it’s a problem. If he thinks of you last minute it’s a problem. Just because he’s not ghosting you doesn’t mean he’s a good guy! They’re all bad guys, and it’s a problem.
Don’t let yourself be benched. You deserve better than that (and this goes for men as well, don’t let a woman walk all over you!). If he wants to be with you, the fact of the matter is that you’d be together. If it’s this difficult, painful and confusing, it’s not a thing. Trust me.
Have you ever been benched or ghosted before?